The Cheesiest Wake-Up Call

[Antón Solucio]

The old man had taped wires to his now blanket-covered unconscious colleagues, leading to two very dusty, clunky machines that sat on a wobbly table in the middle of the room. Steady, rhythmic beeps came from each of them, and a rapid clicking noise could be heard from a newer machine as its antennae rotated around. Smelling salts, lemons, and all sorts of cheeses littered the floor.

"This had better be worth it." Antón muttered as he ambled into the room tiredly, carrying a small, odd-looking safe. He gently sat it down and entered the combination. He pulled out a small yellowing box and covered his nose. Kneeling next to Conrad, he placed the box near the man's face and opened it. A horrible, cheesy stench filled the room. "Oh, Einstein!" Antón exclaimed, leaping away and covering both mouth and nose.

[Conrad Beecher]

Conrad's eyes snapped open and he gagged, shoving at the cheese box. "Oh god," he spluttered. "What is that smell?"

[George Blythe]

George blinked his eyes slowly. "Whu-uh?" he spoke groggily, and rolled with a thud onto the floor.

[Antón Solucio]

"No!" Antón yelped, diving toward the cheese, which had thankfully stayed in the box. Resisting the urge to gag, he waved the box close to George and then quickly closed the box and shut it back in the safe. "Good to, gah, see that you're both, ugh, up." He walked over to the window and stuck his head out, taking a deep breath.

[Conrad Beecher]

Conrad blinked a few times in confusion. "What are you doing putting cheese under our noses, Anton?" he asked as he sat up, his hair all mussed up.

[George Blythe]

"Eurgh. Ow." George rolled onto his front and looked up at the ceiling before pushing himself up to lean backwards on the sofa. "That smells awful." he mumbled, still squinting around the room. "Why have I got such an awful headache?"

[Antón Solucio]

"What were you doing being unconscious?" Antón replied, coming back over towards his comrades. "Why have you got such an awful headache? Was it something in the lab?" the old man asked, taking a seat, "Or did the invaders hurt you? Do you remember?"

[Conrad Beecher]

"Invaders?" Conrad repeated, a blank look on his face. "What invaders?"

[George Blythe]

George screwed his eyes shut for a second. "Let's start by answering some questions, rather than talking quite so incomprehensibly." His pronounciation was a little slurred. "Last I remember we were in the lab, and we were just about to do something."

[Antón Solucio]

Antón sighed and rubbed his forehead. "It's not... important right now. I need to know what happened to you two." He looked at George urgently. "About to do what?"

[Conrad Beecher]

"It got very green," Conrad added fuzzily. "And smelly."

[George Blythe]

"Yes!" George exclaimed, rubbing his brow frustratedly. "We were doing something with the- the green stuff. And you-" he looked at Conrad. "You were about to do something with it. Add it to something?" George finally seemed to catch the other part of the conversation. "Intruders? What in the universe do you mean?"

[Antón Solucio]

"What sort of smelly?" Antón asked, rubbing his beard thoughtfully. "Like... rotten eggs?" He sighed again and shook his head. "I'll tell you about the intruders later, but we need to figure this out first. Are either of you thirsty?"

[Conrad Beecher]

"Like...." Conrad thought hard, trying to remember. "Maybe like rotten eggs? It was bad. And, erm, yeah, I am kind of thirsty. Got an apple juice?" he asked hopefully.

((pause))

[George Blythe]

"Thirsty?" George raised an eyebrow. "No. I want to know about the intruders, Anton- were they police? Did they get into the- the basement?"

[Antón Solucio]

Antón rose from the chair with a nod and walked to the kitchen with a cringe as George asked questions. After a few moments he returned with two nearly clean glasses of apple juice. He handed one to Conrad and sat one on the table next to George. "Drink. You're probably dehydrated." He sat back down and fidgeted a bit. A few times he opened his mouth, thinking of what to say. Finally he frowned and said, "I need you to be calm and focus on what happened to you. So far it sounds like whatever happened wasn't the intruders' fault, in which case it can wait."

[George Blythe]

George took and drank all of the apple juice in one go, without seeming to notice. "We were testing the goo." He repeated. "Conrad- Conrad was going to add it to something. " He frowned. "Conrad- didn't you add it to sulfur?"

[Conrad Beecher]

Conrad was too busy drinking to answer and furrowed his brow as he finished his glass, finally setting it down on the floor and wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "Yes," he said slowly. "Yes, that sounds right. I think I did. And it--it caught fire." His eyes widened as he remembered. "Green fire."

[Antón Solucio]

Antón stared in their general direction, stroking his scraggly beard. "Green fire." he repeated, "Was there any smoke? What shade of green? Do you remember?"

[George Blythe]

"And it spread right up your arm!" George was looking at Conrad excitedly. "And then to me! It was a sort of lime green, I think." He rushed to his feet, putting a hand against the wall to steady himself. "Sulfur, then. Reactant to sulfur."

[Conrad Beecher]

"Yes!" agreed the younger man, scrambling to his feet. "And there was smoke - that's what was smelling so bad. And that's...all I remember."

[Antón Solucio]

Antón likewise leapt up. "You were on fire? I mean, fire was on you? We'll have to take skin samples and test them! I imagine that you breathed in a lot of the smoke?"

[George Blythe]

George frowned once more. "I don't rightly remember- but if we were on fire and- and we're fine now..." he looked at his arm which showed not even a singe. "That's incredible."

[Conrad Beecher]

Conrad looked down at himself in amazement. "Wow," he breathed. "I've got to go look this up!" He dashed from the room.

((out))

[Antón Solucio]

"Careful!" Antón called after Conrad, grinning, then tiredly sinking back into the chair. "Incredible indeed. I wasn't really sure that... Hmm, I think I'll also want to test the sulphur itself."

[George Blythe]

"What about these intruders?" George turned on the older man anxiously. "Would you please tell me now?"

[Antón Solucio]

Antón looked up with a start. "Oh, yes. Right, the intruders." He sighed yet again. "When Young Tobias and I found you two, you were lying on the floor of the lab, and two people, reporters I think, were standing nearby. They had come in through the window, but I don't think they had been there long." He paused to let it sink in. "Young Tobias, ah, called the police. Just one man showed up, but I couldn't deter him. We were all in the lab for awhile, though they didn't ask much about the lab, and then eventually we brought you and Conrad upstairs, and they left." Antón rubbed his forehead and picked a piece of lint off of the chair, flicking it away.

[George Blythe]

George looked at Anton steadily, the fact taking a while to sink in. "In the lab?" his voice was low and dangerous. His eyebrows furrowed to cast shadows over his eyes. "The police? Tobias?"

[Antón Solucio]

Antón sighed again and nodded. "Would you like something stronger to drink?"

[George Blythe]

"Whisky." George said, thickly. "Maybe I should have left that kid with his damned aunt." He looked up at Anton. "Why on earth did reporters come? Surely- I mean, one of the reasons we came to this town was it'd be quiet. This is a mess. Did they see anything?"

[Antón Solucio]

"Alright, you sit down, and I'll pour you some." Antón walked over and tugged at the wallpaper towards the bottom of the wall, revealing a medium-sized hole with a few bottles and cheeses in it. He pulled out a bottle, read its label, then carefully smoothed the wallpaper back into place. Pouring a fair amount into George's empty glass, Antón shrugged. "I imagine that they thought us suspicious and wanted to see if there was a story here. They are reporters, after all." He sat the bottle on the table and sat back down with a sigh. "I don't know how much they saw, but I think they were mainly interested in why you and Conrad were laying on the floor unconscious. Oh, uh, if anybody asks, we all have bad insomnia and were experimenting with a sleep serum."

[Conrad Beecher]

Arms full of books, Conrad raced back into the room, stubbing his toe on a chair and howling as he hopped up and down holding it with his free hand. Finally he collapsed on the couch, running a hand through his hair and trying to ignore his throbbing toe. "Didn't find much," he said, the books spilling out all over his lap. "But here are some more to look through."

[George Blythe]

"The police and some reporters saw the lab, Conrad." George spoke dully. "When we were on the floor." He thought for a second. "How did we get up here?"

[Antón Solucio]

"We--meaning the reporters, the policeman, and myself-- carried you up here." Antón replied, glancing at the books Conrad had brought up. "It wasn't that bad, I suppose. It finally got them out of the lab, at least."

[Conrad Beecher]

Conrad looked up, bewildered. "But how'd they get in the lab in the first place?" he asked. "You don't mean to say they broke in, do you?"

[George Blythe]

"They did." George said, quietly. "Then Tobias called the police. We need to tighten things up."

[Antón Solucio]

Antón nodded. "Through the window. I think I have some old things that I used for security in my old lab. We can use some of those and draw up plans to make sure we have everything covered. We'll also need to have a talk with Young Tobias, of course."

[Conrad Beecher]

"Tobias called the police?" Conrad asked, incredulous. He let out a low whistle. "Maybe he doesn't understand the severity of...Blythe, you'd better talk to him."

[George Blythe]

"I have, dammit!" George burst out, looking at Conrad angrily. "And then you tell me I'm being to hard on the kid. I'll talk to him, alright. Let's do that, Anton, we should have done it earlier. This is serious stuff, and we can't have people just- well. Breaking in." he looked at Anton. "You don't think much damage has been done, then? I suppose the combustitempoulator was hidden at least."

[Antón Solucio]

Antón nodded a bit uneasily. "Now, George, we also need to keep in mind that Young Tobias has grown up in a crazy, mixed-up society. We'll need to try to explain this to him in a way that he can understand." He picked another piece of lint off the chair and then looked back up. "Oh! We decided not to press charges. Messy needing to make statements and whatnot. That okay with you two?"

[Conrad Beecher]

"Fine with me," Conrad said, distracted as he glared back at George. "And I never said you were being too hard on him, Blythe. I said you weren't giving him enough attention."

[George Blythe]

"Right. Whatever." George brushed away Conrad's comment. "You mean to say people broke into our house and we're not pressing charges? There's expensive stuff in there, you know." He looked between his co-workers confusedly. "We don't exactly want them back, do we."

[Antón Solucio]

"No, but that's why we're going to build a security system around this house." Antón replied. "My main worry about pressing charges is that I don't know how much they're going to ask us--and by us, I mean Young Tobias and myself." The old man raised his eyebrows. "If you want to press charges, it's not too late, I think. I'd just prefer to be done with them, though."

[Conrad Beecher]

"Don't press charges, Blythe," Conrad said warningly. "We don't want to draw attention to ourselves."

[George Blythe]

George sighed. "I guess you're right." he said, shortly, finishing off his whisky quickly and putting down the glass. "I'm going to look at the damange in the basement. We've got to sort thing whole thing out." George, without looking at his comrades, opened the door and clicked on the light before heading down into the L.A.B.

[Antón Solucio]

Antón rose from the chair and stretched. "I'd like to go down and see about that sulphur." he said, walking towards the L.A.B. "I wish I could have captured some of that smoke in a bottle."

[Conrad Beecher]

"Maybe there's still some lingering around," Conrad suggested, heading downstairs himself.

((and fade))

[Tobias Blythe]

((Later))

The first thing Tobias looked for when he got home from school was his dad's body on the couch. It wasn't there, which was probably a good sign. He hoped it was a good sign. Tobias trotted down to the lab, figuring that at least one member of APE would be down there. A member of APE was and it was just the one he wanted to see.

"Dad! You're awake!" he bounded down the rest of the stairs, grinning widely.

[George Blythe]

"Mmmmf?" George checked an interesting looking stain on the wall then turned to face his son. "Ah. Tobias."

[Tobias Blythe]

"Are you okay?" Tobias asked, grin fading. "What happened?'

[George Blythe]

"I'm just fine." George paused. "Or I would be. Tobias, we need to talk."

[Tobias Blythe]

"Um, okay." Tobias sat on the stairs, looking up at George curiousy. "What about?'

[George Blythe]

"Tobias..." George frowned, and sat next to his son on the stair. "You know how important what we're doing here is. And you know that it has to be of the utmost secrecy. And yet..." George stopped himself, evidently trying to stay calm.

[Tobias Blythe]

"I'm sorry I told that reporter lady about the lab," Tobias said hurriedly. "You were teling her all that other stuff and I thought it'd be okay. I didn't know she was going to do something crazy like break in."

[George Blythe]

"The reporter lady wasn't half of it!" George looked at his son, furrowing his brow. "Do you not understand? You called the police! The police for heavens sake!"

[Tobias Blythe]

"People broke into the house!" Tobias said defensively. "You were unconscious! Possibly because of them! You're supposed to call the police when something like that happens."

[George Blythe]

"We're not an ordinary house!" George stood up from the step frustratedly. "What can I do to make you understand? We don't have people come here. We don't answer questions- can you do that? Whatever happens!"

[Tobias Blythe]

"You could've told me that sooner," Tobias snapped, standing so that he wouldn't be loomed over. "You could at leat follow your own rules, you're the one that let that let that reporter in and was answering her questions."

[George Blythe]

"I was answering them but not telling her things!" George replied, gesturing wildly with his hands. "And we have talked about this!"

[Tobias Blythe]

"You really think not telling people anything is going to help? What are you doing that has to be such a secret anyway?" Tobias demanded.

[George Blythe]

George glared at his son. "Anton's putting in new security equipment. We were lucky this time. And we're doing all sorts of things. Research mainly, but we're... well, all sorts of things." George looked down at his son firmly. "So if anyone askes we're nothing but crackpot scientists with an interest in the paranormal."

[Tobias Blythe]

"Fine. I'll tell everyone in town you're all crazy," Tobias said grumpily, turn to stomp upstairs.

[George Blythe]

"Perfect." George called after his son, already turning back to carry on his investigation of the room.

((faaadddeee))