All I ever wanted was a life like the movie stars lead

[Colette Michaelson]

Colette sat at the table with a piece of paper almost covered in French scribbles in front of her. She sucked the end of the pen that she held in her hand, and furrowed her perfect brow.

[Zachary Michaelson]

"Dear, have you seen my argyle socks? I have one but I'm missing the other." Her husband wandered into the room, looking a bit concerned for his missing article of clothing.

[Colette Michaelson]

"No, cherie." Colette said, airily. "Maybe it is in the cutlery drawer. What is the most impressive car of this year? And what is double your salary?"

[Zachary Michaelson]

Her spouse sighed and spied the letter she was laboring away at. "I swore I saw it in with the plates, but when I looked earlier, it wasn't there. Already checked the damn silverware. It's just not to be found." He eyed the French in the missive. "Writing to Flora and Clara again? This is the second time in as many months." He thought a moment and then said dryly, "The Corvette, and do you mean weekly, monthly, or yearly, darling?"

[Colette Michaelson]

"Perhaps you should stop wearing socks to lunch." Colette said, applying the pen to paper and scrawling out an extra sentence. "They are my sisters, Zachary. And whichever is the most." She paused for a second. "Don't worry, I'll make it up. Would you rather we had a helicopter or a pool?"

[Zachary Michaelson]

"When we first met, they were the biggest harlots in the French countryside, your words, not mine," Zach reminded her, folding his arms. "Last time you told them we have hired help, the time before that, not one, but two Swiss bank accounts, and Hashem knows what else you've told them that I don't know about. For heaven's sake, Colette, will you stop trying to impress them?"

[Colette Michaelson]

"Helicopter." Colette said, scrawling down the words carefully. "They are harlots. And that is why I have to." She leant back. "Don't you remember their laughing at you, cherie?"

[Zachary Michaelson]

The memory clearly stung as her husband paused, but then he shook his head. "It doesn't matter. If they're harlots, they don't need impressing. Let them laugh. I'm keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table, which I'm sure is more than can be said of anyone they might have ended up with." Another, longer pause. "A pool would sound more realistic, I think."

[Colette Michaelson]

"I have written it now." Colette finished the letter off with a particuarly swirled signature. "I want to make them so jealous that it hurts, Zachary." Colette turned and smiled at her husband. "If those ugly bitter women marry anyone I feel sorry for them. You were wonderful to take me away from them. Have you an envelope?"

[Zachary Michaelson]

"So now we have a helicopter." Zach cupped his forehead in his hand and muttered a few Yiddish opinions on the whole thing, regretful that he'd almost been swept up in the moment. "Check the secretary desk in the other room, I'm sure I had a stack there. Colette, you know that one of these days it's going to get so out of control they might want to come see our...helicopter, don't you?"

[Colette Michaelson]

"I'll call the butler." Colette smiled and reclined in her chair. "They'd never want to come and see me in a better place than them. It would make them sick. And they could not afford to either."

[Zachary Michaelson]

"But they would like to uncover a lie to shame you if they thought there was one. Or in this case, several," Zach told her, the dryness becoming more evident and deepening by the second. "With those two, it'd not surprise me in the least if they sold everything they owned just to buy a pair of plane tickets just for that purpose. They're nasty, vindictive, spiteful..." It was clear he had other and more colorful opinions of his sisters-in-law as he scowled.

[Colette Michaelson]

"It is lucky, then" Colette slipped out from her chair and folded the letter neatly, and sprayed some scent onto it. "That they still think we are living in New York, no?" She smiled sweetly.

[Zachary Michaelson]

Both eyebrows rose. "You got the post office in Brooklyn to keep our last address valid? Dear, that's only going to last a few months before they find things out. The new people in our old apartment are bound to get fed up with forwarding our mail to us all the time."

[Colette Michaelson]

Colette shrugged. "My sisters are stupide. Bloomsdale could be in New York for all they know." Colette was, evidently, well educated in American geography. "And I will stop them from coming." She laughed. "I will tell them that you cannot buy lipstick in America, and that the men are all married and faithful."

[Zachary Michaelson]

"God forbid they go anywhere where they couldn't be home-wreckers," Zach rejoined as he rolled his eyes. "I still think the ruse is a bad idea and the less you tell them, the better. Let them imagine how well you have it. By marrying me and living in America, you're already a step ahead. I'd leave it at that. And this still has nothing to do with my misplaced sock."

[Colette Michaelson]

Colette laughed a hollow laugh. "By marrying you?" She kissed Zach on the cheek lightly. "You know what my sisters think. And you didn't grow up with them for your whole life, Zachary. And I do not know where your sock is. You should ask your Grandmere."

[Zachary Michaelson]

"You were the last one to have seen that particular pair of socks, darling," Zach told her with a meaningful edge to his voice. "And yeah, by marrying me. I didn't see you exactly digging your own way out of the gutters alone, you know." He shuddered slightly, and not from her kiss. "I don't know how you managed to grow up with them and remain sane."

[Colette Michaelson]

"You got me just in time." Colette searched in the kitchen drawers for an envelope, leaving nothing in quite the place that it had been in before. "Though Private Riley would have done just as well. Or John Haines. Or dear Tommy." She closed the door with a bang. "Where was the other one?"

[Zachary Michaelson]

"Riley was an ass," Zach muttered as he watched her search through the drawers, "and Haines never bathed, for crissake. Tommy'd have tolerated your shoe mania for a few days before he told you to find a way to buy your own and on what street corner you could do it. Sock was in the ice box last I saw, but it migrated from there. Check the pots."

[Colette Michaelson]

Colette laughed, opening various cupboards in an attempt to find the pots. "I think you underestimate my powers, Zachary. He followed me around whenever he could. It was all you could to take me for a meal alone, do you remember?" She started lifting the lids of various pots. "And, of course, none of them were already married..."

[Zachary Michaelson]

"He followed you around because his intentions were less than noble, if you follow me," Zach informed her as he started checking the other cabinets. "You didn't hear what he said about you when it was just the men. He'd never have married you and left you worse off than your mother was when she was about to have Flora."

[Colette Michaelson]

"Unlike your honor and chivalry?" Colett said, lightly. "I hardly spoke English at that time, Zachary. And you forget what a very resourceful woman your wife is, Monsieur Michealeson. Here is your sock." Colette pulled the sock from amongst the cooking implements.

[Zachary Michaelson]

"My honor and chivalry are beyond reproach," her husband told her, a bit offended. "I knew enough French to ask you to marry me in it, at least." He tried not to remember that it was probably severely flawed French. He took the sock from her with a wounded air. "I'm beginning to think you married me more for the perks of becoming an American and less so for the right reasons."

[Colette Michaelson]

Colette pouted as she straightened up. "You know that isn't true, Zachary, cherie." She put her arm around his waist and leant up and kissed him. "Is that a good reason? And as far as I remember you asked me if you could borrow my glove to swap for a ring."

[Zachary Michaelson]

He realized he couldn't remain at odds with her for too long and breathed out. "I guess I'll forgive you. This time." Then, he made a face.

"That jackass Riley must have lied to me when I asked him how to ask you in French then. Jealous bastard. But then again, in his place, I'd have felt the same way." Gently, he kissed her back.

[Colette Michaelson]

Colette's eyes widened and she pulled back slightly. "You asked him? Oh." She squeezed his waist. "Do you need to get to work, cherie?"

[Zachary Michaelson]

Zach took her hand in his a second. "Withers wants me in half past eight and---." He glanced up at the clock and blanched. "Hell, it's already quarter to nine! Crap!" He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and shoved his feet into his socks before grabbing his coat from the back of a nearby chair. "I'll see you at lunch, dear!"

[Colette Michaelson]

"Cherie! Your shoes!" Colette called after him, scooting out of the kitchen to make sure that he remembered to put them on. "Au revoir!" She called after him, slightly pathetically, turning back into the house and closing the door quietly and treading her way softly up the stairs.

((out and fin!))